Boston

As if being able to get back into the training room is not enough, I was given the opportunity in 2015 to assist two scholars from Boston with my counseling services through ConsultAsia Consulting firm. Grateful for the opportunity. Boston reminded me of two things: City life does not mean chaos, one. And second, truly educated people hold the door for you. Please see some snap shots of my visit.

Bali, Indonesia

I was lining up for an airfare for somebody else...I would not be outdone. In a whim, I booked a trip to Bali and soon..there I was basking in the sun, living the high life. Mond was gracious enough to join me and as we read each others' minds, it was an easy travel,no fuss. I have always defended our very own Boracay from Bali enthusiasts, I still do think we have the best beach... but my resolve softened and would even consider coming back. Take aways from this holiday: Bali hotels think of everything for you. You'd want to redecorate your homes after seeing the handiworks in Bali (not all are Buddha heads anyway). Bali sells a lifestyle, not only a destination.

Tokyo and Yokohama

An opportunity came up to visit one of my dread destinations. 2015 indeed was a wonderful year.

I appreciate the serene way of the gentle Japanese. In no corner did i feel like my space is being challenged. So meek, organized and polite, I would vote the Japanese people to be the best people in the world anytime!

A short, tummy-filling visit. I would love to come back for more  of Japan someday!

Singapore's 50th!

Would not miss this for the world...thank you Singapore! at least for cuddling me once in my life and for showing Asia what is could be when things are done right.

2015's Little Surprises

I find that 2015 has been a special year for  me.


Two little surprises came to me this wonderful year. Both very close to my heart.

First was in January when I was designated coordinator in our little community of mass lectors and commentators. I was immediately terrified and bent my knees in prayer. How am I going to be a leader to my fellow lectors. I knew then that I found it really serious because I wanted for so long to bring many of us closer to our Lord. I do not know how to do it. I do not know how to do it yet.

The coordinator who went before me did very well. She was very organized and had big dreams for our group (outings, recollections, etc) and most of them did come true. She is also close to a number of our members already.

I on the contrary spent more than 20 years as lector in the same community not spending one night out with anyone...ANYONE in our community. I just go for my serve, when appointed to do something do it and I am gone like the smoke in a few moments after completing my task.

Not that I do not want to hang around but in my many years, I have been recipient of one too many stories about others that i do not want to keep in my databank.  If I cannot do anything about it, I'd rather not hear it.

Now, I am striving to bring back kindness and understanding into the ministry...(chuckle) actually I learned that spreading understanding can be confusing to some people. How ironic.  In a community inside the church, forgiveness, letting things slide, extending understanding and helping people to learn before condemnation seems to be quite foreign, frowned upon even. Like a sore thumb, I continue to pursue my quest for peace in the community. Peace vs. perfection. Tsk tsk tsk. It's a sad comparison. Sometimes instead of peace I harbor rebellion from those who wants perfection and those who did not care before but are held hostage by rules are falling off the crack.  No one is ever gonna be a hostage in my term. If they are serving, they must want to serve for God. If they are doing it for God they will stay no matter how they perceive my leadership.  As for me, I do not see myself as their leaders as much as I see my self as an example of Christian living. If they do not see compassion in me, if they do not see understanding, if they do not see forgiveness, if they do not see me doing my task well as lector/commentator, if they do not see me praying, then I would be remiss. That is all they will see.  I only have two years and i do not wish to create a perfect organization. I honestly think everyone is already doing very well.  What I want to create is a compassionate community of lectors and commentators spreading the Word of God to which they live by. That is all there is to it.

Slowly, I am seeing the color of characters I am working with and it's exactly as I imagined. It's still a lot of work. In fact it will get harder because we are changing parish priest and at the time when I may not be readily available as before.

Why ? Because of 2015's new surprise. Sometime in the beginning of June or late May, I replied to a tempting facebook post of a friend about a project in Boston. No details was given only that the person needs to work with students and that it would be a pro bono case and that it will be in Boston. Of course, the Boston bit is the immediate catch. But the meat of it is working with students. I was afraid it will involve classes but good that it didn't. It was a counseling stint and I am very comfortable with it.

I am presently working with Consult Asia in their CSR project with 2 scholars of ICTSI going to Boston. Preparing them, guiding them and then checking up on them when they get to Boston.

I will be going there sometime September and then in late October again for a week at a time. Even now I am excited to learn how their adjustments would be like when they get there. They both look mentally and psychologically tough to me, but really there is no telling until they get there.

Another task I feel unworthy of and terrified to do because it has such potent impact on others. God help me to play a part in the lives of others.

When I was younger I thought I'd be really rich and really powerful and in high society when I get to work.  As I pursued corporate life, I looked inside me and it did not fit. I went from one company to the other, no two work was the same. Teller, recruiter, counselor, insurance agent, trainer, classroom teacher, travel agent, office manager.  To this mix I saw that I go for passion rather than money. I go for helping rather than earning. I go for people rather than position.  At this point in my life, I look back and despite limited money in my pocket, no distinguished company or title, I find myself right smack in the middle of where I want my life to be.

I have time to be a daughter, a sister, an aunt, an entrepreneur, a counselor, a trainer, a writer, time for church, for friends, travel ( no required number of leaves or seeking approval) and I can not be any happier. Well of course that is not true. It could be peppered with a few incentives and some more dollars but I am not complaining. I know I have what I need and what I do not have, I don't need.

Thank you Lord for the gift of life. There is one thing I  find lacking Lord, and you know what it is. Please help me be able to do as much as I can in this lifetime and guide my path. Amen.

Lake Sebu and General Santos City

Chanced upon a conversation with my good friend Jona, I joined their family trip to GenSan and Lake Sebu, a dream destination for some time now. I have long dreamt of going to a place in the Philippines that not many people go to.

Some surprises of Lake Sebu:  It is in an elevation that permits the freshest air and the coldest,crispest cold monts.  Second, it is hailed as one of the most peaceful places in the Philippines despite it being in Cotabato, and third, that there are a lot of adventure to be had in this quaint little town.

Let the pictures tell you more...

U.S. Trip

There are just some trips that choose you. I definitely did not choose to take it but tagged along anyway when the opportunity came. 20 days, just 4 days short of completing it, every minute spent thinking.." what did I do to deserve this? " Well almost every minute. Sometimes I also think " how in the world did I afford this?"
No answers for that one yet.

Touring under the sun, enveloped with the cold wind and surrounded by the color of autumn, this tops my list of best trips so far. Domingo Say, Aaron Say, Leiman Arroyo-Say thank you for being very patient with me when I do not get my way, Louisa Say thank you for taking over so we could take off, Aidyl Manansala-Acosta and mom thank you for treating daddy to his nilaga because he is having withdrawl symptoms from Filipino food (and only on our third day) , Tito Alvin and Tita Nelia for sharing us your home, Analea D Lopez for showing up at the airport with a box of pastries and sending us of with yet another one as well as for the truck load of food you fed us in between, Keath Cpm for the company and the Sinigang ang adobo, Ej Cabigting Liezl Legaspi-Cabigting Grace Amos for meeting up with me and daddy.

 I do not know when a trip like this will come along again but surely, the world just got bigger and smaller for me at the same time.

One of our New York Album

Philadelphia Album

Washington D.C. Album

San Francisco Album

Yosemite National Park Album

Napa Valley Album

Los Angeles Album

I Want to WRITE

When I was 12 years old, I started writing a book. By that I mean I wrote a few sentences and knew what I wanted to write about.  I may not have gone past 2 pages but I wish I kept that manuscript so I could read about me at that time.

I remember the topic was about a youngster understanding the young. Or maybe a guidebook for parents to understand all the drama of a pre-teen.  I may be all practical (it seems) now but back in the day I was quite a drama queen (maybe still am) .  I had journals long before they were deemed therapeutic.  While washing the dishes I would quip some wise sayings and words of wisdom I wish to write and compile into a book someday.  That , obviously, did not happen.  I was always reserving to do it when I am older, wiser...

Looking back I think I was no wiser now than then.  I may even say I may have been wiser when I was younger.

Back then I was not afraid to write BIG because I never experienced being small.  Back then, I did not think what I could do badly because I never felt weak.  My resolve to do things were so strong I would often stay up late at night because my mind kept spinning with ideas.  I was bolder, brighter, I used to dream.

Nowadays, after spending a few hours on late night t.v., I wake up tired.  It takes a holiday, a new place, a few thousands in money to make me feel excited.  I am not complaining. Being able to do that is a gift in itself.  But back in simpler days, there was no need for that.

Maybe because I thought a wiser, more perfect me is going to emerge one day that I fail to see the special me right now.  I am still becoming am I not?  What do I want to become today?

I wish to be  a bit bolder.  I wish to be able to dream again.  Time I have  may now  be shorter but only because the time is NOW.  I think I have all that I was waiting for, more or less.

I am now 38. It has been 26 years since I attempted to write a book.  What should I write about now?

Life is a gift that goes through an endless cycle of wrapping and unwrapping with lessons.  You think you know it all then you realize that you know nothing.

You think you know love when you were 16 and find out you know nothing about it at 40.

You think you know how to be a parent at 12 and realize you don't know half of it when called to be a mother or an aunt.

Life is all figured out at 20. Until the reality of sickness, death, old age, mortality greet you.

Being successful is important until you realize how malleable success is. You bet on riches only to find that you were gambling with truth and peace as tokens.  One is baffled by the learning and unlearning that life give us an opportunity to experience.

We are never made.  We are always becoming.

I am becoming a writer. Maybe not on paper. Maybe my book is scribbled by the life I live.  In my head, thousands of words and metaphors connect each and every moment, every event, every problem, every joy, every person to each other.

Someday my life will be read, judged, sized up. It will be interpreted by many "wise" people who knew it all. But then they really don't.

Philipines My Philippines

Bright eyed optimism could not visit me these days.  I am grateful to God for personal blessings and I hang on to the intervention of our God in many concerns I whisper to Him in prayer. However, the state of our nation continue to sadden me.  It seems hopeless. Why for the kind of politics we have and the kind of nation who choose to continue to look away and party or be miserable...where could solution begin?

I am so angry I could not help but write. However, I could not make sense of what I want to say because my mind is all messed up by the many issues flooding my system right now. It is toxic. No release. No wonderful thoughts to serve as antidote. Just the vile juice of bitter realities and sour taste of lies that seems insurmountable. How deep have the greedy dug our grave?  How could a nation so poor be made so much poorer by self-entitled, calloused politicians who look out only for their own good? How could beautiful words of concern come out of their mouth when they campaign when none of it means anything to them?  How can we all look away and display a Pollyanna grin when there is so much decay all around?

I feel no need to apologize for my pessimistic mood at the moment.

In the Philippines, we have the nicest people.  We make do of what we have. We are happy to receive small tokens of rights.  We return with unwavering dedication and fanaticism the simple association allowed us by the rich and mighty.  We think that it is power to rub elbows with thieves? Because they get away with things, so would we? So we can, we could? We suffer silently accepting that some people are rich, some are poor and that is the way it always will be.

Elections are a joke. Principled voters are to choose from the corrupt and the less corrupt. Or if they are lucky, rest in the thought that although their righteous candidate will never win, that they have voted wisely.  In the provinces, people are paid (oh so openly) for their vote. Immobile registered voters are carried to the precincts for a favorable vote. People who work elsewhere are given air tickets to go home and bring in the numbers. They do not feel the need to question how politicians could afford this. They simply compute the next meal and how a bribe can cover for that.  With it a hope that when they get sick or needing assistance , association will pave the way to services they deserved in the first place.

Social services are lacking and if any, pitiful.  Government hospitals are in dire need of sanitation. Public Schools are lined with children who are yet to receive the type of education that would help them advance in life other than the lessons on determination and principle of hard knocks. Worse, they too find there is no way out and give up all together.

We have the best of natural resources. Yet we squander it due to ignorance and fast money.  No one looks after us.  We are taught to be proud if we are able to export the whole Philippines if we can.

Then you have peace and order.  We have hordes of protesters who are on the streets for free food, as well as rebels who were pulled out to fight battles they do not understand.  Children trained to hate (what is hateful, but that is beside the point) when their leaders do not even want to begin to negotiate.  The rest of our peace and order concern is borne out of poverty, evangelized by twisted brains of goons and morality-scarce principle of survival in an urban jungle.  Watch Philippine reality shows (Face to Face and the like) and you will marvel at how twisted reasoning could be. Unbelievable.

Ok, so maybe all of these are in what I watch and feed my mind with? But would I be better of believing that it is MORE FUN IN THE PHILIPPINES?

Interestingly enough, we are also in the best position now to jump out of this miserable hole.  I know what I already said. But this too is true.  We are made aware now. We are free to hate the bad. We are made angry by injustice. Therefore, we are best equipped to usher in the new and the good ... and the better.

How? Be a consumer of change. Notice. Promote to friends and encourage your friends to notice. Write to offices / media if you can. Find yourself into groups that will make micro changes. Participate. Buy media initiatives for vigilance. Invest in civic charity and small acts of kindness.  Move your interest from the beautiful to the true. Shun away from the glitter of the fancy and educate yourself once again towards change.  Direct attention to reaching out instead of digging in.  Do not starve the interest of those who have gone towards the road of change ahead of you with your disinterested cynicism.  Join the (hopefully) mob of people who will rally to get what we all deserve.

What? Which? When? You choose and then start.

How? What? WHEN? These are the questions that need to be answered. It was never a WHO.  The Philippines is MY Philippines. For Filipinos, it is YOURS too.  It is OURS and no matter how we point fingers (like one Senator recently did) YOU play a part, and so do I. Gloomy or not.

Where have i been?

I just got my new iPad and suddenly I am in the new age..delayed I know. But i got here haven't I?

Initially, my apps include a diary, books for meditation, journaling app and social media apps. I also just  recently (ok it was yesterday!) joined tweeter. Im yetbto make a tweet.im taking this  one slow ;)

Oh well, i could not but succumb to technology.  i just hope that i get to fully use this productively. Im just too confused what the other devices are for now. Still loving my handheld SIII Mini because i can always get info fast and i need not pull out a big notebook out of my bag ;)

Technology technology.... Lets see where this goes.