Two Faces of Love and Time

Face One
I watched Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. Movies done by no less than a genius (Richard Linklater).

Both movies challenged the convention of love transpiring in time. The story struggled to capture love and let go of time. It stands to remind us that love could happen in one second or in one lifetime and it would still be as magical and fulfilling. That people who live their whole lives together may not necessarily experience the marriage of souls that happened to the story's characters.

I stayed glued evesdropping in Jesse and Celine's every conversation. Eager to learn more and more about what is going on in their minds. The movie captured and filmed the mystery of being loved and known. Hawke and Delphy depicted romance and passion through conversations, it's nice to remember how words could be so... sexy.

They longed to make things permanent but didn't. Too afraid, maybe, of loosing the luster of the initial excitement of love. They refused to be bound by the confines of love and time but could have been bound by it anyway.

Face Two

But there are people who do allow themselves to experience love in full circle.

I sat down with family last night nursing an old relative through a critically high blood pressure.

I sat there as a witness to our mortality... and to the immortality of love.

I watched my aunt quietly and lovingly pay attention to her husband's every need. At 76 years old, I sure am glad she could still do the things she does. I was amazed on how strong she was. How she does not seem to feel tired taking care of the husband he has been married to for more than half a century now.

How she could be so selfless for a man who is as flawed as he could possibly be, for now, is beyond me.

Aged, no more teeth, slur in speech, bald, extremely wrinkled and too weak to be useful, all these and yet, to my aunt she seems to see only him, think of only him, worry about only him and in silence bears to take care of him despite her own need to be taken cared of.

We would all die; or loose our teeth, our beauty, our hair - whichever comes first. But for a few who managed to find purpose and love in this life, none of these matters. Time is but a channel for loving. But no matter how long or short it allows love to transpire is not important.

Seeing my aunt, I felt fear. Fear of living too short that I may not be able to find the love she found. Fear of living too long and sacrifice too much of myself for another... long after the initial excitement have expired. And then again, fear of living with no love to speak of.

The experience was sad and awesome at the same time.

I don't know which one of the two Faces of love and time is better. I guess time and love can either free us or imprison us with fear. Which of the two actually does that? Love is a strange thing. It has a way to fool the eyes.

P.S. (Updated 1/11/06)

My uncle passed away today. Love has gone full circle alright. Love begins, time ends.